Seven days from now it will be a new year. At least it will be for me. Even more so than on December 31st, I go all out for my birthday, but not in the way you are likely thinking. My celebratory modus operandi is restorative, grounding, and purposeful beyond toasting with bubbles and a good ole romp on the town (not my style anyway). This isn’t to say that bubbles don’t factor in. They often do, because after all, sipping sparkling rosé is restorative; there is no doubt about that.
By going all out I mean, all parts of me gather for a day and we have a big fat, end of year Purge With Purpose Party. Out with the old, contracting, limiting patterns of behavior and in with new, more vitalizing, life-affirming, and uplifting ways of being.
I can already foresee this year’s party going something like this: The perfectionist in me will purge finicky and time-wasting desk straightening. The self-critical part of me will purge its unruly and outrageous expectations. The multi-tasking Tina…she’ll purge the “I can do it all and do it all right now!” pattern, and will instead begin the mantra, “single-tasking serves me better––I’m more focused, more intent, more at ease and joyful.”
All the parts come together over a journal, and pour onto the pages, everything that may have dimmed the lights on the previous year.
My parts and I also spend our time reflecting on all the deliciousness! We lick our lips at the intentions that were manifested, those not yet part of our reality, and those that may never be.
Part of this grand writing exercise involves a two-column list, (the Virgo part of me likes lists.)
One column gets the heading, Challenges. The adjacent column gets titled, Gifts. I do this exercise because it’s important to me that I see the blessing in every difficulty. Because in hindsight, can’t we always see (if we choose to) that life, including the trials and hardships, is happening for us…not to us? It’s true.
Trite as it may sound, there is always a silver lining. There is always a beautiful tapestry being woven from behind the loom. To the weaver, the threads may look tangled, gnarly, and ugly, but just on the other side is art. The gift. This exercise in contrast reminds me how important it is to be optimistic about the coming year––even if occasionally I find myself twisted up in knots.
On another journal page, I write GRATITUDE in obnoxiously big letters across the top. Then I make another list. I gush out all that I am grateful for in the moment, such as this computer, mornings where I don’t have to be anywhere and can take my time, the flexible schedule I have manifested, clean air to breathe, breathtaking hiking trails right outside my door, access to the most succulent organic food, friends that make me laugh my guts out, legs that can walk, run, dance, and stretch, and a heart that loves and is loved. Big, big love.
I could go on forever like this right now. I am grateful for everything––every breath, every flower, every raindrop. When we are filled with gratitude, we are filled with joy.
After the gratitude de moment list is complete, I make another list of all the gifts that reigned down on me from September 1st through August 31st of the previous year. This year it will include things like, co-created and published Heed Your Call, wrote and published Superfood Juices & Smoothies in the U.S. and in Germany, made peace with my shadow and the role it played in my previous marriage, and what I can do differently in relationships going forward. Stuff like that. The more gratitude we have for all things big and small, the more goodness we receive.
The last pen and ink exercise involves two sketches (rudimentary sketches––I am an artist of food, not drawings.) One is a life map, illustrating the previous year. It’s composed of mostly boxes and lines shooting off of those boxes, which link together synchronicities that occurred during the previous twelve months. It illuminates all the seemingly coincidental (yet not) moments in time that led me to various projects, places, people, and opportunities––all the experiences that wove together the life I am enjoying right now.
The other sketch is my birthday year desire map. I write a word in the center of the page that is my anchor––a theme to keep me rooted as I make my way through the next twelve months. Sometimes it’s Joy. Sometimes Fun. Sometimes Empowerment. Similar to the first sketch, I draw lines out from that center word and a bubble at the end of each line. These bubbles represent all of the lifestyle elements that will support me in experiencing a life rich with joy, fun, empowerment, or whatever theme I desire.
For instance, if my anchor is Joy, one bubble linked to it might be Health. Shooting off of health will be words or phrases that when manifested, lead to feeling joyful. Restful Sleep. Optimal Digestive Function. Truly Nourished. Energized. Physically Fit, and so on. This sketch becomes a visual representation of all the desires I wish to manifest in the coming year.
After all these journal exercises are complete, I meditate. I breathe into clarity of desire. I accept any of the past year’s destructive or distracting patterns for what they were, and then start anew to live more in alignment with what makes me truly happy.
Because that is really what it’s all about, right? Being happy?
Don’t you want to be so sickenly joyful that you cry happy tears? That’s what I want! I want to laugh until I pee, until my jaw hurts, until I can’t breathe. I want to see others feeling so darn good that they are beaming with contagious smiles. I want more of all the happy things.
I view the day of my birth as a fresh start for weaving the best year possible. Actually, every day, every moment presents this opportunity, I just happen to make the time of my birthday more focused and ceremonial.
I share this because perhaps creating some rituals for your birthday or any day may serve to keep you on the ride of life you actually want to be on. Maybe it will help you see more clearly where patterns of behavior are incongruent with your desires.
Maybe you’ll be able to move through the gnarly knots of life with more patience and appreciation, knowing that just on the other side, there really is a textile that is beautiful. Maybe this note will inspire you to focus on only one thing right now––perhaps patience, trust, or forgiveness (including forgiving yourself.)
Your joy, your happiness, your living a desirable life is a birthday wish of mine. It will go down in my journal, inked, and sealed.
